When Nature Calls in Nature
A Humorous Guide to Peeing Outside in Maine
Venturing into the great outdoors of Maine can be an exhilarating experience, filled with awe-inspiring vistas, captivating wildlife, and the serene stillness of untouched nature. But what happens when the call of the wild is drowned out by the call of nature? For those of us who enjoy spending extended periods outdoors, figuring out how to relieve ourselves responsibly and comfortably is an important (if somewhat awkward) part of the adventure. In this fun, funny, and informative guide, we’ll explore the art and etiquette of peeing outside in Maine, from finding the perfect pee spot to leaving no trace.
The Quest for the Perfect Pee Spot
Maine’s wilderness offers an abundance of potential pee spots, but finding the perfect one can be a bit of a challenge. Here are some tips to help you make the right pick:
- Choose the Right Terrain: Opt for a spot with absorbent ground, such as grass, leaf litter, or pine needles. Avoid peeing near water sources or on hard surfaces, like rocks or pavement, to prevent runoff and contamination.
- Keep Your Distance: Aim for a spot at least 200 feet (about 70 steps) from trails, campsites, and water sources to preserve the natural beauty of the area and protect the water supply.
- Consider the View: A stunning vista can turn a simple bathroom break into a breathtaking experience. Just be sure you’re not in full view of other outdoor enthusiasts, unless you’re looking for a hilarious story to share around the campfire (although we wouldn’t recommend it).
Mastering the Technique
Now that you’ve found your perfect spot, it’s time to get down to business. Here are a few tips and techniques to ensure a successful outdoor pee experience:
- The Classic Squat: The tried-and-true method. Keep your balance, aim downhill, and make sure your shoes are out of the line of fire!
- The Tree Hug: If balance is an issue, find a sturdy tree to lean against while you squat. Just be sure the tree is strong enough to support your weight. It’s not just embarrassing to topple mid-pee; it’s a quick way to make an enemy of an innocent pine tree!
- The Buddy System: If you’re out with trusted friends, they can provide a human shield for privacy and even a supportive arm to help you balance.
- Pee Funnels: For women, several outdoor companies offer portable urination devices that allow you to pee standing up. Practice at home first to avoid any unwanted surprises!
The Art of Leave No Trace
Practicing good outdoor ethics is essential, even when answering nature’s call. Here’s how to leave no trace when peeing outdoors:
- Pack Out Toilet Paper: If you use toilet paper, pack it out in a zip-top bag. Never bury it, as animals may dig it up.
- Disperse the Pee: If you’re in a low-impact area, kick some dirt or leaves over the spot to help disperse the pee and speed up its breakdown.
- Stay Away from Habitats: Avoid peeing near animal dens, nests, or other habitats to prevent disturbing wildlife.
When nature calls in the midst of your Maine adventure, don’t panic! Peeing outside is a rite of passage for every outdoor enthusiast, adding a touch of humor and a dash of humility to your wild exploits. By choosing a suitable pee spot, mastering your technique, and following Leave No Trace principles, you can answer the call of nature with confidence, respect for the environment, and a funny story to tell when you return to civilization. So go forth, explore the wonders of Maine, and remember: when it comes to peeing outside, we’re all in this together!